Never the Twain is a British sitcom that ran for eleven series from 7 September 1981 to 9 October 1991. It was created by Johnnie Mortimer, and was the only sitcom he ever created without his usual writing partner, Brian Cooke. Mortimer wrote the entirety of the first two series and four episodes out of six of the eighth, with the rest being mainly written by Vince Powell and John Kane. It starred Windsor Davies and Donald Sinden as rival antique dealers, and also starred Derek Deadman, Zara Nutley, Robin Kermode, Tacy Kneale, Julia Watson, Honor Blackman, Teddy Turner and Maria Charles. The title is taken from the Rudyard Kipling poem; The Ballad of East and West.
Never the Twain (Season 9)
Just the Ticket (Episode 1)
Air date: 1989-09-06
Overview: A series of mishaps contribute to a difficult day for Simon and, especially, Oliver.
A Point of Honour (Episode 2)
Air date: 1989-09-13
Overview: Simon advertises for an assistant for his shop but runs into trouble after interviewing one applicant.
A New Lease of Life (Episode 3)
Air date: 1989-09-20
Overview: Simon is feeling melancholic and decides to make a big change to his life.
Aspects of Love (Episode 4)
Air date: 1989-09-27
Overview: Simon arouses Oliver's suspicions and, in turn, Oliver is the subject of a rumour. These lead to gossip in the village.
Neighbours (Episode 5)
Air date: 1989-10-04
Overview: Simon holds a meeting of the Residents' Association. There is a new resident who is about to move in and this leads to a sleepless night for both Simon and Oliver.
Bonjour Paris! (Episode 6)
Air date: 1989-10-11
Overview: Off to Paris but soon they are in trouble at the restaurant and with the police, also causing a lot of trouble to an embassy official.
A Winter's Tale (Episode 7)
Air date: 1989-12-28
Overview: Christmas time. Simon and Oliver volunteer to keep watch overnight in the local church.
Seasons
Episodes 6
Episodes 6
Episodes 6
Episodes 6
Episodes 6
Episodes 6
Episodes 6
Episodes 6
Episodes 7
Episodes 6
Episodes 6