Alice (Season 7)

Sorry, Wrong Lips (Episode 1)

Air date: 1982-10-06

Runtime: 30 min

Overview: Debbie Reynolds plays an actress whose torrid memoirs convince Mel he's the one she remembers as the greatest kisser in her life.

Do You Take . . . ? (Episode 2)

Air date: 1982-10-13

Runtime: 30 min

Overview: Mel tries to outdo an old buddy who shows up boasting a track record of fast living and sporting a blonde on his arm as proof.

The Secret of Mel's Diner (Episode 3)

Air date: 1982-10-20

Runtime: 30 min

Overview: There's gold in them there walls, or so Mel reckons after learning that the eccentric who built his diner left $20,000 stashed in another building.

Alice at the Palace (Episode 4)

Air date: 1982-10-27

Runtime: 30 min

Overview: Joel Grey offers his services gratis as the leading man in a musical revue bankrolled by Mel and featuring Alice. Mel, however, has never heard of Grey and gives the role to his bookie.

Joel Grey Saves the Day (Episode 5)

Air date: 1982-11-03

Runtime: 30 min

Overview: Joel Grey walks out after producer Mel turns a revue about New York into a desert musical with tunes like ""Two Tootsies from Tucson"" and ""Ramona from Arizona.""

Alice's Turkey of a Thanksgiving (Episode 6)

Air date: 1982-11-10

Runtime: 30 min

Overview: Alice's meddlesome mother knocks the stuffing out of her daughter's Thanksgiving dinner.

Carrie on the Rebound (Episode 7)

Writer: Bob Bendetson

Air date: 1983-01-09

Runtime: 30 min

Overview: Carrie is slow to come out of a depression after a quickie divorce.

Jolene's Brother Jonas (Episode 8)

Writer: Stephen Sustarsic

Air date: 1983-01-16

Runtime: 30 min

Overview: Jolene's brother pays a surprise visit, but the surprise is on him, he gets an icy reception from his sister.

Alice Sees the Light (Episode 9)

Writer: Bob Bendetson

Air date: 1983-02-28

Runtime: 30 min

Overview: Everyone takes with a grain of salt Alice's claim that she saw a UFO.

Vera the Virtuoso (Episode 10)

Writer: Stephen Sustarsic

Air date: 1983-03-07

Runtime: 30 min

Overview: Vera, whose cello playing can reduce a virtuoso to tears, is asked to play in a local string quartet.

Alice Faces the Music (Episode 11)

Writer: Stephen Sustarsic

Air date: 1983-03-14

Runtime: 30 min

Overview: The waitresses pit their musical knowledge against that of three plumbers on a TV quiz show.

Tommy, the Jailbird (Episode 12)

Writer: Stephen Sustarsic

Air date: 1983-03-21

Runtime: 30 min

Overview: Alice fears that freshman Tommy is abusing his new freedom away from home by majoring in extracurricular activities.

Jolene and the Night Watchman (Episode 13)

Writer: Bob Bendetson

Air date: 1983-03-28

Runtime: 30 min

Overview: Jolene can't bring herself to bruise the tender feelings of a bruiser who saved her life and now considers her his girl.

Mel's Dream Car (Episode 14)

Air date: 1983-04-11

Runtime: 30 min

Overview: Mel is stripping his gears over his jazzy new Porsche he purchased for a measly $20.

Come Back Little Sharples (Episode 15)

Air date: 1983-04-17

Runtime: 30 min

Overview: Mel has had it up to his keister with the way things are going so he absconds to his apartment for a beer and pizza binge.

Vera, the Torch (Episode 16)

Air date: 1983-04-24

Runtime: 30 min

Overview: Vera wishes her landlady the worst for evicting her pets then feels responsible when the old crank's apartment catches on fire.

The Grass is Always Greener (Episode 17)

Writer: Linda Morris

Air date: 1983-05-01

Runtime: 30 min

Overview: In role reversals, Mel becomes an employee by accepting an executive position with a catering firm, and the waitresses become owners by buying his diner.

Tommy Fouls Out (Episode 18)

Writer: Michael Cassutt

Air date: 1983-05-15

Runtime: 30 min

Overview: Afraid that he's lost the ""right stuff,"" Tommy quits the basketball team.

Vera on the Lam (Episode 19)

Air date: 1983-05-22

Runtime: 30 min

Overview: After Mel decides to have the waitresses bonded, Vera owns up to a criminal past and takes it on the lam.

Mel's Cousin Wendy? (Episode 20)

Writer: Linda Morris

Air date: 1983-05-29

Runtime: 30 min

Overview: To steal a competitor's secret sauce recipe, Mel persuades his cousin to pose as a woman and apply for a job as a Burger Baby.

Sweet Erasable Mel (Episode 21)

Air date: 1983-06-05

Runtime: 30 min

Overview: Mel's experiment with a computer goes well until Vera enters a transaction and erases every trace of Mel's financial existance.

Tommy Hyatt, Business Consultant (Episode 22)

Writer: Bob Bendetson

Air date: 1983-06-12

Runtime: 30 min

Overview: Using Tommy's marketing advice, Mel increases his business but also learns he's heading for bankruptcy.

Jolene Lets the Cat Out of the Bag (Episode 23)

Air date: 1983-09-18

Runtime: 30 min

Overview: Jolene's hair is standing on end with a cat burglar prowling her neighborhood.